Bringing Up Girls

Last week, I spent a grand total of three days reading Dr. James Dobson's, "Bringing Up Girls" book.  This is a great accomplishment for me, since I normally start a book and never finish it or just read a chapter here and there.

I was going to wait to read this in a few years, since I still consider my little Meredith a "baby", not  "big girl", and to be honest I wish I had waited a while before reading it.  While it had a lot of good information, the stats about sex, drugs, etc. amongst pre-teen and teen girls was very alarming.  I'm sure Dr. Dobson didn't mean to overshadow this wonderful book with scare tactics, but I think he did and I wish he would have focused more on providing practical advice for raising daughters.  Nonetheless, I still gained a lot of insight and here are some of my takeaways from the book:

• VERY IMPORTANT POINT!:  Dads are VERY important for their daughters.  I never really thought about it too much before, but it makes sense.  A girl's self worth usually depends on their relationship with their Dads; Girls are more perceptive, sensitive, and relational than boys and many experience a lifelong sense of inadequacy.  Dads should spend one-on-one time with their daughters.  I liked his idea of Dads taking their daughters out to breakfast once a week.

• Here are six steps to having "healthy" children:

1. Have dinner with them, as a family.
2. Take them to church weekly.
3. Check their homework nightly.
4. Demand the truth from them.  Don't just chalk their lies up to "kids will be kids".
5. Take them on a family vacation for at least a week at a time once a year.  Turn off all electronics and really connect with them!
6. Encourage them to participate in a team sport.

•  Dr. Dobson was very adamant about this point - if at all possible, women should stay home with their children, especially during the early years.  There are critical periods during the child's early years of learning that must be grabbed or forever lost.  He used the reference of the "river of culture" that will sweep your child away if you are not careful.  My task as a parent is to be intentional about teaching chastity and common sense to my children while they are still young.  This was reassuring to me, since I made this decision to stay at home nearly a year ago and reaffirms that my influence will be very important in Meredith's life.

• We should teach girls to be ladies.  Unless you have been living in a cave for the last 50 years or so, you would know this to be true.  Manners should be restored (as well as modesty!).  I should also expect her future gentleman callers to be well-mannered also.  If I don't teach her morals, then she will inevitably learn it from peers and the public school system.

• Dr. Dobson also pointed out that though many believe the teen years evoke independence, children actually need more attachment, not less.  When everything has gone topsy-turvy in her world, attachment is key.  Even when she is unlovable, she needs love.  I need to be calm, mature, and a voice of reason (hopefully I will remember that in 13 years!).

• Lastly and most important, one task in parenting outranks all other in significance:  The responsibility of Christian mothers and fathers to introduce their children to Jesus and cultivate their understanding of Him at every opportunity.  Here are practical ways to do this:

1. Talk to my children about the Lord and His mercies continually.
2. Teach my children to pray as early as possible.
3. Memorize key Scriptures and favorite Passages with my children.
4. Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

Overall, it was a good read and really hits home to me that parenting goes beyond just providing for a child's physical needs (food, shelter, clothing, etc.), but is really about making the child a good citizen and steward for God.

Family Visits

The past few weekends have been very busy in the Prentice household.  Two weeks ago we visited my hometown of Flora, I attended a Mom's conference last weekend, and this weekend we visited Chad's hometown of Macomb.  We find travel difficult, or at least more trying, than before we had Meredith.  It just seems like there is so much "stuff" we need to bring for her, even though we rarely use all of the toys and extra outfits we pack!  These trips were made easier with our new minivan;  It allows us to bring even more "stuff" with us without cramping our space.  Because of the difficulty of travel and the fact that both of our families live in different towns (opposite directions in the state, as well), we don't make it back home very often.

Here are some of the highlights of our trips:

• Meredith had a chance to get down and play with Grandma and Grandpa Perry's cat, Miss Gray.  Right after this picture, Miss Gray took a swat at Meredith, so that was the end of cat time.

• Meredith had a chance to play the piano for the first time.  I hope to one day be able to give her lessons, that is, until she surpasses my very basic piano skills.

• Meredith had another first in Flora - she used the swing for the first time at the playground.  Can you tell she loved it?

• Here is Meredith with Grandpa Perry.  I wonder if this is where she gets her blue eyes from...

• Meredith likes to "spit" back and forth (making funny sounds) with Grandpa Prentice:

•  Chad and I feel so blessed that Meredith has several Great-grandparents still with us:

Grandma Perry, Mommy, Meredith, and Great-Grandma Reed

Meredith and Great-Grandma Perry

Great-Grandpa and Great-Grandma Prentice (Great-Grandpa Prentice's 92nd birthday party)

Meredith, Great-Grandpa Ross, Daddy, and Grandma Prentice

Overall, we had a great time visiting family and we loved this unseasonably warm March weather.

Yes, I'm Alive...

So, here it is, nearly a year after I started this blog and I'm just now writing my second entry.  How embarrassing!  Oh well, I guess that's what happens when you have a baby.  Of course, when I was writing my first and only blog entry, I was on bedrest and didn't have a baby (yet!) to distract me.

Well, needless to say, the past year has been a whirlwind for the Prentice family.  Our little girl, Meredith Grace, arrived about two weeks after I was put on bedrest.  She has been such a blessing for our family and I can't imagine life without her.  She is now 10 months old and really beginning to take her first few steps and babbles like crazy.  She has got daddy's personality and looks (except for her newly developing curly hair...she gets that one trait from me!).  Complete strangers gravitate towards her fun-loving spirit and big blue eyes, which she uses to stare at people (especially at restaurants and at the grocery store).

Here is a picture of Meredith from just a few days ago.  I am so excited because her hair is long enough for pigtails! 

I feel compelled to keep up a blog because of the Hearts at Home conference I attended this past weekend.  There were a ton of fantastic speakers that encouraged me very much.  The headliner was Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar.  Chad and I watch their show regularly and are amazed that they are raising 19 children who are giving, polite, and respectful.  You don't see that too much in today's culture!  I listened to them speak, as well as Marianne Miller (Crown Financial Ministries) on "How to Raise Grateful Kids in a Culture of Consumerism", and Julie Barnhill on "Confessions of an Imperfect Mother".

My big takeaways from the conference were that all moms struggle with guilt, I am not alone in this journey of motherhood, and I have one of the most important jobs in the world.  For the first few months after Meredith was born, I really struggled with being a stay-at-home mom.  It may sound odd since many women would do anything to stay at home with their kids, but I somehow still had this attachment to my job (since I was still technically on leave) and struggled with the colicky bouts from Meredith's struggles with sleep.  It's probably because I had been working full-time ever since college and had never known anything else.  Or, maybe because I realized I didn't have a routine or a "boss" like I did in the professional world.  However, once I began to get Meredith established on a routine and also get myself on a routine of having various set engagements throughout the week, I began to have a different attitude.  I now love staying at home with her and honestly, could not imagine any other way of being a parent.  Not to condone those parents who wish to work full-time and place their children in daycare, but I just couldn't do it with Meredith.  I don't trust anyone else to do this very important duty of raising my daughter.

This conference reiterated to me that though this may be the hardest job in the world and there may be days I don't feel like I accomplished anything, it is worth it and I am appreciated.  This is my job!  Sure, I don't receive a paycheck, performance reviews, or promotions, but once I realize and start treating it like a job, I will be more productive with my time and my family will feel the effects.  I want this blog to be a keepsake for Meredith one day, so she can look back at funny stories, trials, and hopefully learn a bit more about her mother at this stage in my life.

Stay tuned...hopefully it won't be another year before my next entry! :)