I was going to wait to read this in a few years, since I still consider my little Meredith a "baby", not "big girl", and to be honest I wish I had waited a while before reading it. While it had a lot of good information, the stats about sex, drugs, etc. amongst pre-teen and teen girls was very alarming. I'm sure Dr. Dobson didn't mean to overshadow this wonderful book with scare tactics, but I think he did and I wish he would have focused more on providing practical advice for raising daughters. Nonetheless, I still gained a lot of insight and here are some of my takeaways from the book:
- VERY IMPORTANT POINT!: Dads are VERY important for their daughters. I never really thought about it too much before, but it makes sense. A girl's self worth usually depends on their relationship with their Dads; Girls are more perceptive, sensitive, and relational than boys and many experience a lifelong sense of inadequacy. Dads should spend one-on-one time with their daughters. I liked his idea of Dads taking their daughters out to breakfast once a week.
- Here are six steps to having "healthy" children:
- Have dinner with them, as a family.
- Take them to church weekly.
- Check their homework nightly.
- Demand the truth from them. Don't just chalk their lies up to "kids will be kids".
- Take them on a family vacation for at least a week at a time once a year. Turn off all electronics and really connect with them!
- Encourage them to participate in a team sport.
- Dr. Dobson was very adamant about this point - if at all possible, women should stay home with their children, especially during the early years. There are critical periods during the child's early years of learning that must be grabbed or forever lost. He used the reference of the "river of culture" that will sweep your child away if you are not careful. My task as a parent is to be intentional about teaching chastity and common sense to my children while they are still young. This was reassuring to me, since I made this decision to stay at home nearly a year ago and reaffirms that my influence will be very important in Meredith's life.
- We should teach girls to be ladies. Unless you have been living in a cave for the last 50 years or so, you would know this to be true. Manners should be restored (as well as modesty!). I should also expect her future gentleman callers to be well-mannered also. If I don't teach her morals, then she will inevitably learn it from peers and the public school system.
- Dr. Dobson also pointed out that though many believe the teen years evoke independence, children actually need more attachment, not less. When everything has gone topsy-turvy in her world, attachment is key. Even when she is unlovable, she needs love. I need to be calm, mature, and a voice of reason (hopefully I will remember that in 13 years!).
- Lastly and most important, one task in parenting outranks all other in significance: The responsibility of Christian mothers and fathers to introduce their children to Jesus and cultivate their understanding of Him at every opportunity. Here are practical ways to do this:
- Talk to my children about the Lord and His mercies continually.
- Teach my children to pray as early as possible.
- Memorize key Scriptures and favorite Passages with my children.
- Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
Overall, it was a good read and really hits home to me that parenting goes beyond just providing for a child's physical needs (food, shelter, clothing, etc.), but is really about making the child a good citizen and steward for God.
